Take Up Space

She wanted to completely fill a space, she wanted to become bigger than she had ever imagined. The size she wanted wasn’t physical, it was the metaphysical idea of taking up space, of sharing her energy. She wanted to feel so alive that her essence spread all around her, touching any within a few feet of distance. She saw herself that way. Big, vibrating, and alive. She saw herself as a radiant, energetic being. But what she really felt when she looked at herself was different. She felt plain, unassuming, unwanted, like a shadow. 

She wasn’t sure when she became so unassuming. Maybe it was middle school. There she had tried so hard not to be noticed that she became barely there. She hardly took up space. More likely to be seen hovering in a corner, or hiding under a hoodie than engaged in conversation. At home, she could be found in her room, absorbed in daydreams or in quiet conversations with who she wanted to be.

She didn’t realize it yet, but maybe she would. Hopefully, she would see that she had a right to take up space. She had the right to exist as she was. She didn’t have to check boxes or reach a certain level of importance to be seen or acknowledged. She could choose to fill a space with her vibrance, with her kind and quiet energy. Hopefully, she would see that regardless of her physical being that she was worthy of all spaces. There was no need for perfection, no need to look a certain way or to present herself in a perfectly polished manner. There was no need to validate herself in these spaces with tales of adventure, accomplishments, or education. She simply had to be. 

So, be. Take up space, fill rooms. You are inherently worthy of all spaces, in all settings. You simply have to be.